Auditions for “Arsenic and Old Lace” are on 8/25/15

Published by
August 4, 2015
Contact:Erin Drazin
(909) 790-TIME (8463)


Riley’s Farm Theatre Company in Oak Glen, CA announces open auditions for Joseph Kesselring’s classic comedic play!

Riley’s Farm Theatre Company is happy to announce open auditions for Joseph Kesselring’s classic 1941 play Arsenic and Old Lace, directed by Eric Drazin.  Auditions will be held from 5:00 PM – 7:00 PM on Tuesday, August 25th at the Packing Shed theater on Riley’s Farm (12261 S. Oak Glen Road, Oak Glen, CA 92399).  Auditions will consist of script readings and a brief interview, and sides will be available onsite.  A link to the sides will also be posted on  several days prior to auditions.

RFTC will be casting the following paying roles for this production:  

  • Teddy Brewster – age 40-50 male who believes he is Teddy Roosevelt
  • Rev. Dr. Harper / Lt. Rooney –  age 50-60 male, fatherly, pompous and protective minister / tough police lieutenant
  • Officer Brophy – age 30-60 male flatfoot Brooklyn cop
  • Dr. Einstein  – age 45-60 male – a strange plastic surgeon and an alcoholic, Dr. Einstein has changed Jonathan’s face three times!
  • Mr. Witherspoon/Mr. Gibbs – age 50-60 superintendent of Happy Dale Sanitarium / 60-80 male who wishes to rent a room
  • Roles not listed here have been pre-cast.

Rehearsals will take place from 4:00-6:30 PM on weeknights in late September through early November.  Performance dates are November 7th, 13th, 14th, 20th, and 21st.  Please contact Erin Drazin at (909) 790-8463 for any further audition information. 




(This is an excerpt of a speech given by Theodore Roosevelt

August 31, 1910. Quite fitting because Teddy Brewster believes he is Theodore Roosevelt.)

“We come here to-day to commemorate one of the epoch-making events of the long struggle for the rights of man — the long struggle for the uplift of humanity. Our country — this great republic — means nothing unless it means the triumph of a real democracy, the triumph of popular government, and, in the long run, of an economic system under which each man shall be guaranteed the opportunity to show the best that there is in him. That is why the history of America is now the central feature of the history of the world; for the world has set its face hopefully toward our democracy; and, O my fellow citizens, each one of you carries on your shoulders not only the burden of doing well for the sake of your country, but the burden of doing well and of seeing that this nation does well for the sake of mankind.”



(Elaine’s father, who is a distinguished pastor)

HARPER: Of Course, Miss Abby. And so I’ll say immediately that I believe Mortimer himself to be a quite worthy gentleman. But I must also admit that I have watched the growing intimacy between him and my daughter with some trepidation. For one reason, Miss Abby.

Abby: You mean his stomach?

HARPER: Stomach?

Abby His dyspepsia-he’s bothered with it so, poor boy.

HARPER: No, miss Abby. I’ll be frank with you. I’m speaking of your nephew’s unfortunate connection with the theatre.

Abby: The theatre! Oh No, Dr. Harper! Mortimer writes for a New York newspaper.

Harper: I know, Miss Abby, I know. But a dramatic critic is constantly exposed to the theatre, and I don’t doubt but what of them do develop an interest in it.

Abby: Not Mortimer, He hates the theatre.

Harper: Really?

Abby: Oh Yes! He writes awful things about the theatre! They just made him take this terrible position.

Harper: My! My!




(Impatient, serious police officer)

Rooney: Oh, You kinda think he’s wanted somewhere? If you guys don’t look at the circulars we hang up in the station, at least you could read True Detective [BIG] Certainly he’s wanted! In Indiana! Escaped from the prison for the Criminal Insane! He’s a lifer. For God’s sake that’s how he was described—he looked like Karloff!

Klein: Was there a reward mentioned?

Rooney: Yeah—and I’m claiming it!

Klein: He said there was thirteen bodies buried in the cellar.

Rooney: (Suspicious) Thirteen bodies buried in the cellar? (Deciding it’s ridiculous) And that didn’t tip you off that he came out of a nut-house!? Take that guy somewhere and bring him to, see what you can find out about his accomplice. That guy helped him escape. He’s wanted too. No wonder Brooklyn’s in the shape it’s in, with the police force full of flatheads like you—falling for that kind of story—thirteen bodies in the cellar.  



(Flatfoot Brooklyn Cop)

Abby: How is Mrs. Brophy today? Mrs. Brophy has been quite ill, Dr. Harper.

Brophy: Pnemonia!

Harper: I’m sorry to hear that.

Brophy: Oh, she’s a little better now. A little weak still—

Abby: I’m going tot get her some beef broth.

Brophy: Don’t bother, Miss Abby! You’ve done so much for her already!




(A strange plastic surgeon and an alcoholic, Dr. Einstein has changed Jonathan’s face three times!)

Einstein: Chonny, when I go down in the cellar, what do you think I find?

Jonathan: What?

Einstein: The Panama Canal

Jonathan: The Panama Canal?

Einstein: It just fits Mr. Spenalzo. It’s a hole Teddy dug. Six feet long and four feet wide.

Jonathan: Down There!

Einstein: You’d think they knew we were bringing Mr. Spenalzo along. That’s Hospitality.

Jonathan: Rather a good joke on my aunts—their living in a house with a body buried in the cellar.

Einstein: How do we get him in?

Jonathan:  We’ll drive the car up between the house and the cemetery-then we’ll bring Mr. Spenalzo in through the window.

Einstein: Bed! Just think, we’ve got a bed tonight! (reaches for flask)

Jonathan: Easy Doctor, remember you’re operating tomorrow. And this time you’d better be sober.

Einstein: I fix you up nice and pretty.



Mr. Witherspoon

(Superintendent of Happy Dale sanitarium )

Abby: Does your family live with you at Happy Dale?

Witherspoon: I have no family.

Abby: Oh—I suppose you consider everyone at Happy Dale your family?

Witherspoon: I’m afraid you don’t quite understand. As head of the institution, I have to keep quite aloof.

Abby: That must make it very hard for you.

Witherspoon. It Does. But my duty is my duty.

Mr. Gibbs

(Older gentlemen interested in renting a room from the Brewsters.)

Gibbs: My name is Gibbs. May I see the room?

Martha: Why don’t you sit down a minute and let’s get aquainted.

Gibbs: That won’t do much good if I don’t like the room.

 Abby: Is Brooklyn your home?

Gibbs: Haven’t got a home. Live in a hotel. Don’t like it.  I’d really like to see the room.

Abby: It’s upstairs. Won’t you try a glass of our wine before we start up?

Gibbs: Never touch it.

Martha: We make it ourselves. It’s elderberry wine.

Gibbs: Elderberry wine. Hmmph. Havent tasted elderberry wine since I was a boy. Thank you. Do you have your own elderberry bushes?

Martha: No, but the cemetery is full of them.

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This post was written by Jim Riley

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